Yes, We’re Already Doing a Reader Supplied Question

The question comes from one Mr. Joseph Deinlein, who has taken time out of his busy post at the Evening Sun to submit the following question:

Dear Matt,

I'd like to become popular and pick up all the fine ladies.

Do you have any suggestions?

Sincerely,
Joe


First off Joe, thanks for the question, but you are leaving out one important detail: what you intend to do with these fine ladies once you pick them up? Do you intend to devote the time and effort into establishing a meaningful relationship, or do you just want to use them for a few rounds of furious, primal sex, and then discard them like a flesh Kleenex? As you will see, the answer differs substantially depending on which one you are aiming for.


As you are a twenty-something male, lets start off by assuming you meant, "I'd like to become popular and pick up all the fine ladies, for purposes of having wild, unattached donkey sex with them." This is not wholly unreasonable; contrary to what our catholic school upbringing may have taught us, there are in fact plenty of girls out there who are up for the sorts of casual sexual exploits that you are going for. Moreover, they're somewhat easy to find! Generally, if you show up at a place where crowds of people go at night to consume alcohol, one or two of them are bound to be hanging around. To land them, you only really need one thing, but ho boy--it's a biggie!--all you need is to be physically attractive enough for them to get excited about the idea of having sex with you. Are you this level of physically attractive? I personally can't make that call; I haven't seen you in years. But generally, people who DO meet this level of attractiveness don't need to ask about it on some computer programmer dork's MySpace blog.


Which brings us to a more tenable scenario, and that's "being popular and picking up all the fine ladies, with the intent of cultivating a beautiful, loving relationship!" Odds are, you will likely find yourself striking out on the whole screaming-animalistic-one-night-stands-with-chicks-who-look-like-models thing, and lets face it, if it was that easy, I'd be out there doing it, complete with putting on my sneakers while asking girls if they liked Huey Lewis and The News, rather than taking an hour to write a blog post that will be read by ten, maybe twelve people at the most. So, you may actually just have to try talking to women, and charming them with your sparkling personality. "But!" you say, "I'm not Brad Pitt! If I tried to talk to a girl out of the blue, she'd think I was creepy!" And you're probably right. So, you have to go out there and find legitimate ways of meeting people. You have some friends already right? Surely they have groups of friends other than you that you could find yourself in a social setting with someday. Or perhaps a stripper? Most of them are just looking for a nice guy who understands them, you know. Or perhaps an acquaintance at the office- a quick check of the Evening Sun website indicates that you work with an Ashley Adams, a name that sounds like it has huge potential for a hot-girl-next-door type.


So, Joseph Deinlein from the Evening Sun, go out there and get introduced to all the new people that you can. And maybe, just maybe, one of them will turn out to be the fine lady you've been looking for all along.